Joe Didn't Understand

Joe just didn't understand why people kept screwing with him, but it was starting to make him feel annoyed and mean. He couldn't get his DSL problems resolved, or even talk on the phone without static. Then his phone company sends some technician around who tells him his phone is defective, and sure enough, when the phone is unplugged the line is clear again, but only for about 24 hours ... same thing that always happens. Talk to some technician, and eventually, after you've been through enough shit ... all fixed. Yay! But within about 24 hours, everything usually breaks down again and that DSL light just blinks ... a lot, and the phone static returns. Then today, Joe gets this envelope in the mail from the phone company he is starting to despise ... and it looks like a check, so now he's thinking that maybe they're going to compensate him for all the totally unnecessary bullshit they have been putting him through for, well, ever since the big greedy conglomerate took over his phone company ... It's a check for $275 and it says pay to the order of Joseph King. So now he's feeling better about things, at least a little. I mean he still has a static-filled phone line and only gets DSL in brief intervals ... but at least he can take himself out for a few beers tonight and a game of pool with the extra cash. But noooooooooo. He gets down to his bank and the teller says, "Joe, could you really be this naive? Did you not see the words on this check -- that say 'This is not a check.' And the tiny print at the top that also says that repeatedly?" Joe was really mad. What the hell? Now they're gonna start sending him checks that look like checks but in reality AREN'T checks. Who DOES that? Have they not screwed with him enough already?

Left Joe at Tokyo Sushi on 17th Street. He says it was the wasabi that made him cry, but we all know the truth. He's now in the ladies room ... in the cabinet with the .... little gold sandals ... under the sink. He says he refuses to come out till his DSL and phone problems are resolved, but you know, maybe he could be talked down from the ledge ... which is only about 6 inches off the ground.