One woman, lots of paint and hundreds of tiles. If you're here because you found a painted tile, it's yours to keep.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

The Rising of the Hope

You know how that big fat glowing orange moon always makes an appearance around October .... the one people refer to as harvest moon ... but the pumpkins who live in the patch know the real story behind that moon, and they simply call it the Rising of the Hope. Pumpkins sometimes lose hope in this life ... because they're up on all the pumpkin news and they know how many pumpkins are being slaughtered this time of year, and made into coffee, ice cream, pies, and even beer now. Recently, in fact, they have become increasingly popular, but no one knows the price of popularity better than pumpkins.

A few find fame ... like those 900-pound pumpkins that get towed around to fairs and make the news, but they meet with their own tragic ends. Ditto for the pumpkins so proudly displayed on porches for all the little candy-hungry trick-or-treaters to enjoy, and are then left to rot. If they manage to survive that holiday without having their stuffings scooped out and their insides lit with fire, they know they must face the daunting holiday of doom known as Thanksgiving.

Pumpkins for obvious reasons do not like Thanksgiving. Two words: Pumpkin pie.

They want more from life, but few of them find it. When the baby pumpkins ask the older ones what life is really about, where they will wind up and what will happen to them, the senior pumpkins tell them the story of the Rising of the Hope and how if they believe hard enough and strong enough, one day they will rise far above this and smile down upon the world.

Fall is their season to do this, and they know this because of the big light in the sky. Each month it grows full and round ... but only during the season of the pumpkin is it so glowing and orange, and this is their sign, their reason to hope, their motivation to believe that they can rise above the pumpkin pies, the slaughtering, the burning, the ice cream and even the pumpkin ale and become one of the shining pumpkins in the sky.

They need hope. Because life, for the pumpkins, is getting very stressful. Recently, Dunkin Donuts has started posting signs all over their shops that say Pumpkin Is Back. It's become downright devastating for the pumpkin population. They are living in a state of constant panic now, but they still continue to hope, fat little pollyannas that they are.

Most people don't believe in the Rising of Hope ... they just prefer to call this phenomenon the Harvest Moon .... Some, like the blanket-carrying Linus, know better. But even he doesn't talk about this much. In fact, it was Linus who said: "There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: Religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin."

But we know there are others out there who agree with Linus and we too should unite and rise up for the sake of pumpkins everywhere .... It will be hard to give up the pumpkin consumption, for sure ... but it's important to note that pumpkins are peaceful creatures and despite years of torture from humans, not one pumpkin has ever ordered a people coffee or eaten people pie on a pumpkin family holiday. So remember every year when you see the big harvest moon, know that pumpkins everywhere hoped really hard to make that happen for you.

Dropped the pumpkins at Jaxson's Ice Cream Parlor in Dania .... just under the sink ... not The Kitchen Sink full of ice cream that feeds you and 20 of your friends .... but the little sink in the ladies room. They're hiding in there and they're really, really scared because they heard some lady in the parking lot say she just got the very last of the pumpkin ice cream .... They're hoping really hard that Linus, or one of his crew, comes and rescues them. So hopefully someone with a soft spot for pumpkins will take them home .....


At 5:50 PM, Anonymous Jerry said...

Well, sorry to say, we made more pumpkin ice cream just this morning. We did run out over the weekend because pumpkin is a very popular ice cream flavor this time of year. We take no pleasure in the utter and complete decimation of these peaceful creatures. First their protective shells are removed, then their very innards are removed (with a large spoon! Good thing Hannibal Lecter never got involved in what I've heard called "The Pumpkin Protocol). After that, they're coarsely chopped (not a shred of gentility here!) and tossed into a batch freezer with cream.

Therefore, it is with a solemn sense of duty that we at Jaxson's decorate an altar to honor the delicious sacrifice of these tasty beings. Candy, of "Cone of Uncertainty" fame, is enjoying a short break from her swirling responsibilities due to the lack of cylonic activity, and has graciously volunteered to "man" the altar. She will stand at vigil until such time as she, the pumpkins, and Linus (should he hear of this tribute and care to get involved)decide that the time of mourning has passed.

The altar is set, the pumpkins are honored, and the ice cream is out of this world!


At 11:07 PM, Blogger Mary Tiler More said...

I think the pumpkins are honored ... and anxiously awaiting the arrival of Linus ...in much the same way Linus once awaited the rising of the Great Pumpkin from the patch on Halloween. Funny, how things turn around ... how after years of being inspired by the pumpkins, he may now have a chance to rescue them. But for now, they have Candy ... No doubt she will look after the pumpkins until Linus arrives ... probably alone because Linus doesn't manage to muster must support around his causes, except perhaps from Sally, who remains his biggest supporter and is still hopelessly in love with the odd little guy, despite that old blanket he continues to lug around. Charlie Brown would help, but he's still too busy trying to get the attention of that little red-haired girl. But seriously, they can't all show up there, can they? Imagine the drama.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

I always knew Linus was right.

At 3:25 PM, Blogger Mary Tiler More said...

That's right, JoeInVegas. Keep believing and I will keep believing that they're not really slaughtering pumpkins over there at Jaxson's. I do hope Linus shows up over there soon, though, to get everything straightened out. Even with his peaceful little demeanor, or perhaps because of that, I have confidence that he will work all of this out. -- MTM


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