One woman, lots of paint and hundreds of tiles. If you're here because you found a painted tile, it's yours to keep.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Let there be peas on earth

Patsy’s mom had been warning her from the time she was a tadpole that if she ever kissed a human being, she would turn into one of the Pea People. What that meant basically is that she would have frog feet and hands and still be the color of a frog but with a big roundish body so that she looked just like a pea of the Jolly Green Giant variety. In addition to looking like a cross between a pea and a green peanut M&M, Pea People become fascinated with anything beginning with the letter P, and most frogs consider an obsession with only things beginning with the letter P a tad limiting.

Petey’s mom warned him about kissing human beings too, but the minute he became a teenager he stopped doing anything his mother told him to do, because teen frogs are just like that sometimes. Patsy, on the other hand, wasn’t really trying to disobey her mom. She actually thought her mom said never to kiss a human bean, which she never ever did. The only reason she kissed a human being was because of that silly fairy tale that implies that if you kiss a prince, the prince turns into a handsome frog.

But after the kiss, the prince was still just a prince, and now Patsy was a full-fledged Pea, as was Petey. Both had become outcasts in their respective frog worlds because frogs harshly judge Peas just because they’re different and sometimes defy authority. Some even put bumper stickers on the back of their cars that read Visualize Swirled Peas, and Patsy, who can be a little Paranoid, was pretty sure they were just mocking the Peas, like they wanted to see them swirled in a blender or something really harsh like that.

At first, Patsy was hurt that she was no longer accepted by her peers, but eventually she stopped caring so much. She realized that anyone who judges Peas like that is probably not worth getting upset about. Instead, she started looking for other Pea People with whom to bond, and of course, she became increasingly obsessed with things beginning with the letter P.

Sometimes, non-Peas would ask her if she ever got bored with the letter P, but she said that she felt lucky to be a Pea because if you’re going to have a one-letter obsession, P’s not such a bad letter to focus on. But the non-Peas didn’t usually understand. Sometimes they’re unwilling to give Peas a chance, so Patsy started avoiding Frogland and began hanging out in the Pea Patch. That’s where she met Petey, who was wearing Pants with lots of Pockets and was gathering Pinecones. He believed they were magical and eventually convinced Patsy of their Powers too.

Patsy took an instant liking to Petey. Many of the other Pea People she met around the Patch were not that happy about their life. But Petey always made the best of everything, and rather than running around looking for elusive letters like Q or R, he simply found beauty in the letter P and continued to enjoy his Peasful life. Some might call him downright Pollyannaish in his optimism. But Patsy loved his Positive nature. If a frog would ever actually sit down and talk to Petey about his life and the letter P, they’d probably wanna run out and find a human to kiss so they could become a Pea too. Petey could seriously be a recruiter.

Patsy was equally happy about the letter P, since it encompassed so many of the things she had grown to love. … Peppermint Patties, Pencils, Ping Pong, Popsicles, Pumpkin Swirl coffees … and she had always been mad for Plaid. She believed that she would never run out of new P words to explore for as long as she lived, and was happy to have met someone who shared this approach rather than always searching for elusive undefined things, as some Peas do..

After chatting madly in the Pea Patch time and time again … Petey eventually invited Patsy around to his Pad in P-town for Pasta and Pinot Grigio. That went well, and soon they were a Pair. In the wintertime, they would walk around town in their Parkas and go for Pizza. Sometimes they’d hit a diner to see their server friend Pink Poodles. Occasionally, they’d enjoy a day at the Park or visit the candy store where Petey would get Pecan chocolate chunks and Patsy would get Peppermint chocolate chip ice cream. They took little day trips to other nearby P-towns like Pompano and sometimes all the way to Pahokee. Along the way, they took lots of Photos, whenever they remembered their cameras.

They also spent much time apart doing other things, so they wouldn’t run out of P words to discuss. Petey might go hang out with his Posse at Panera and Patsy would go to Pearl’s to buy new Paint for her Palette, or to Publix and chat with People in the Produce department. On weekends they discuss their outings over Potato Salad and Prawns at a Picnic.

When Patsy and Petey got together they were like two Peas in a Pod, and ultimately they were glad to be Peas. In fact, if they had their lives to do all over again they would both do whatever it took to become Peas because now they know better than ever that Peas are special and have just as much of a right to be here as frogs. They just want all the Peas and Frogs and everyone to finally realize Peas are OK, and to stop thinking negatively about anyone who is different.

All they are saying is give Peas a chance.

Patsy and Petey were released at Birch Park in Fort Lauderdale because spending a Peasful afternoon among the Pines in the Park with all the happy People, it's impossible not to realize that P really is a very special letter, unlike all others. ... I hope that 2009 brings Peas and goodwill to all.


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